


Need Something To Stay For

by Withstarryeyes



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Comforting Lexie, F/M, Feeling unworthy, George Failing, George needing something to stay for, Giving Up, needing something to stay for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 09:02:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5491484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Withstarryeyes/pseuds/Withstarryeyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would've happened if George had failed his intern test again? What if he had feelings for Lexie like she had for him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Need Something To Stay For

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is my first Grey's fic and I really hope you enjoy it. I might write another chapter to this if you want them and give me an idea of where to go.

George blew out a breath, ruffling the tips of his brown hair dipping onto his forehead. Glancing at his watch, he stood up to grab a coffee, hoping the bitter taste would wash away the chill seeping down his spine. George kept his head down as he navigated the crowded hallways, his body language projecting one thing:  _ do not engage.  _ He didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t want to just sit with someone wishing that osmosis would transfer some of their comfort into his body. He wasn’t cooling hot chocolate that just needed a quick burst of warmth  to be fine. He was ice, a tundra, a blizzard.  _ Do not engage.  _ He was projecting the message like a neon sign, shoulders square, a tick in his jaw, his hands and arms stiffly hanging down at his side. He was making eye contact with the floor because it didn’t have the small facial expressions his friends had. 

Izzy with her full lips puckered up, her brown eyes shining with more love than he could ever accept. 

Meredith, her nose scrunched up, bunching her freckles together like a snow pile. 

Christina with her mouth shut, her insults lying dormant for once. 

Alex avoiding him at all costs, a tiny rage surrounding himself like a rain cloud. Alex got it, he knew what it was and he didn’t want to admit to George that maybe someone had it worse than him. 

_ Do not engage.  _

George sipped his coffee, letting it burn his throat and mouth. Let it bubble in his stomach because he needs the warmth. He needs something because his internal fire has gone out. He was shutting down and there was nothing he could do about it. He’d  _ failed. _ Again. He failed his intern test again. 

“George?” Grey called down the stairwell he was sitting in, the cold concrete matched his limbs. He liked the chill, he liked the draft coming from the open window. Seattle air blowing his coffee’s heat into his face, warming his cheeks and nose.  

He heard her footsteps down the stairs but didn’t turn around.  _ Do not engage.  _ George curled his limbs closer to his body, shuffling his feet closer to him and tucking his arms around his sides. His coffee cup pressing heat into his elbow and chest through his thin scrubs. 

“George,” Grey whispers, putting a hand on his back.   _ Do not engage.  _

_ “Don’t.  _ Lexi I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to discuss my feelings, I just want to drink my damn cup of coffee and be left alone,” O’Malley hissed because he was close to tears and he didn't want to be seen as weak anymore. 

He failed again. He failed at everything. At being a husband to Callie, at being a good son to his mom, at being a doctor. Everything. God, he was a waste of space. 

He felt Lexie bump his arm, rubbing her warm hands up and down. She laid her head down on his shoulder, trying to test the waters. 

“George,” she started again. George stared at the railing. “You’ll take it again, and you’ll be the best damn resident to be in this place. Look at me George, please.”

George slowly moved his head to look at Lexie. Her eyes were shining in the Lexie way, a piece of her hair crossing her face and lying on her lips. She looked beautiful, shiny and glowing and not at all like Meredith.

“What if I’m not meant for this? What then. I try so hard and I work my ass off and yet I always get sent back. I’m running a race without a finish line.” He exploded, hands shaking. He was breathing heaving, a thick stream of in and out because it was better than crying in front of her.  

“Einstein failed math. Disney was told he wasn't’ creative enough. They’re just setbacks George.” 

He turned away from her then, watching his hands as the shook. She was right it wasn’t the end of the world. But he hated this feeling. Unworthiness, guilt, he felt like Thor when he was sent to earth by Odin without Mjolnir. 

“I’m not good enough, Lexie. I’m a failure. What’s the chief gonna say when he knows that I failed it again? That I failed his hospital again?” George whispered, slowly returning to his perch on the concrete. 

“He’s going to look you in the eye and he’s gonna tell you to get off your ass and get back to work. He’s going to tell you to log more hours, work with more patients. He’s going to tell you that you have potential because it’s true.” 

George sighed, taking another long sip of coffee. The bitter taste coated his mouth. He looked over to Lexie, her brown hair fell in waves to her shoulders. She was worming her lip through her teeth, golden eyes darting around George’s face. Watching, waiting, hoping for him to snap out of it. George imagined placing his finger on her lip, his other hand curling around her head. He wanted to make her stop worrying about him. Wasting thoughts on him and his future. He wanted to kiss her until her mind shut down. God, she was beautiful. 

Instead he hung his head, staring at his scuffed tennis shoes, his pager tucked neatly into the waistband of his pale blue scrubs. He studied the cracks in the sidewalk before he went crazy staring at her. 

“George, c’mon. You know you still have a future here. You know you still have a support system among the interns,”  _ and me  _ she left unsaid. 

She was worried about him, worried that he would lose hope. She was worried he was going to leave and not look back;  that he would leave her behind to deal with her feelings for him. Lexie was a goner for him the second she looked into his blue eyes, open and hopeful. Even more determined than her own. She glanced over to George's form, staring at the brown hair swirling at the nape of his neck. He was bent over, his eyes scanning the ground, for what she wasn’t sure. She nudged his shoulder again and George sucked in a breath before straightening out and looking into her eyes. Lexie’s heart fluttered at the eye contact.

“Do I? Do I really? Sure we have some jokes but they know I’m part of the residents.I’m separated from them. They know I’m a failure. Now they’ll know I failed again. Lexie, I’m not going to get on their good side, not this time,” He said, trying to keep the tears out of his eyes. 

He could see the gears turning in her mind, struggling to think of what to say. He loved that about her. How he could see her thoughts, her mind working to solve any and every problem. But George knew that this wasn’t a problem she could fix. He had little reason to stay except for her and that was only because he wanted to date her. However, George was certain she wouldn’t give him the time of day. 

“You’ll have me, George. We’re in this together whether you like it or not and I’m not going to let you walk away,” Lexie stated, eyes gleaming. Her mouth set straight, the way it was when George knew she meant what she said. 

“You need to Lexie. There’s nothing to stay for,” George echoed his thoughts, leaning towards the girl he’d stay for. If only she said the right words, leaned into him too. 

Lexie saw George’s shoulders shift closer to her. Her eyes glazed over at the scent of his soap. Pine and a hint of mint.  _ He didn’t have anything to stay for? Silly boy couldn’t he see that he could stay for her? _ Lexi sighed, placing a hand on his shoulder. Trying in any way to convey that she wanted him to stay. 

_ Was she responding to him? _ Electricity shot through his body at Lexie’s contact. He turned his head, his hair brushing her knuckles. He counted the freckles up her arms, imagining kissing each one, then up her neck and ending at her mouth. He shook his head, trying to stop himself.

“Lexie?” George breathed, getting closer to her. His mind growled at him to do something, to make a move. 

“Yes?” Lexie whispered back, smiling at their closeness. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her cheeks. She could see the grey flecks in his eyes. Just a little further and she would be able to feel his lips on hers. 

“Would you be okay if I…” He trailed off, turning his head slightly to the right. He touched the side of her face, heat shooting up through his fingertips. 

“Yes.” Lexie flicked her eyes down George’s shoulders, the slight muscles toning his arms. Returning her attention to George, she turned her head slightly to the left. 

It felt like they were floating in the air, slowly gliding in the sky. Then it felt like she was diving as he crashed his lips on hers. 

Sparks exploded in George’s heart, he moaned into Lexi’s mouth, deepening the kiss. She nipped his lower lip and he opened them enough for her to slip her tongue in. 

This was what he needed to stay for, and it was gonna be a hell of a good time. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'd really appreciate it if you left a review and/or kudos. I hoped you enjoyed the story.


End file.
